I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
