Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
