yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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