my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
they're like a gay fantastic four
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
