i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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