You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
