OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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