i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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