Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
