She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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