I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
