Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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