Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize
