I heard we made out
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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