So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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