Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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