We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
