i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
