you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
