You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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