3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
and you fell through a lawn chair
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
