i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
