I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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