People in love make me want to vomit
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
