I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
