Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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