I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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