Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
