At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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