Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
