Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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