flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
