Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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