yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
