i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
