At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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