seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
