At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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