Having a random hookup so left but love u
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
