My hair reeks of homosexuality.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
