I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
