would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
