Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
