People in love make me want to vomit
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
