I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
