Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
