I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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