Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You are the jesus of drinking
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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