JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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