I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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