her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
